I have always been a “feelings person,” especially when it comes to God. I believe He speaks to us all differently, and for me it is always the “I have this feeling” type of way that God speaks into my heart. When I know that God is really speaking to me about something important, it is that heart racing, barely able to breathe feeling that I get! Sometimes it is hard to ignore that feeling, while other times it is harder to listen to the command that is on the other side of that feeling.However, let me tell you, there is something that happens to you—in you– the moment you choose obedience to God. Whether you are like me and feel it or not, there is something that takes place on the inside—in your heart. Allow me to share with you a moment that occurred while in my car driving home on Friday evening. (God can move anywhere, even in our cars!)

I have known for quite some time that Kevin and Leah were heading to England and needed a large monthly support in order to remain obedient to the call God has for them. I am certain that the moment Kevin and Leah accepted this call, they experienced a feeling similar to my “heart racing, cannot breathe” moment that I previously mentioned. I got a support card in the mail from them, and tucked it away. Though part of me really wanted to support them, at the same time I just didn’t really think I could. I never neglected to pray for them and to do my best to encourage them along their journey.

As time has gone on and they have moved closer and closer to their goal, my heart has raced more and more, while breathing has become harder and harder. No, that isn’t just because they are leaving! It has more to do with what God has been speaking to my heart. While daily praying for them, God had been speaking to my heart about supporting them with my tithe. All I could do was ask God, “Are you serious? Do you not know math? Can you not see how far behind I am since I haven’t been paid since June? Do you not know I will be paying on my student loans ’til I die?” I know, I know! Excuse after excuse; I was doing all I could to evade the pressing from God that I felt.

A few weeks ago, I traveled back to Ohio to visit with Kevin and Leah and the rest of my family. I knew this would be the last time I saw them before they depart. We attended church with them at First Christian Church in Canton, which is their sending church. Kevin was part of the worship service that morning, and from the moment the service started and I saw Kevin’s face flash across the screen, God continued beating on my heart. I knew what God wanted of me, but I kept rationalizing reasons why He was being unreasonable. (Laughable, I know!)

Well, wouldn’t you know that the message that morning was on tithing? Unable to win the battle inside my heart, I just smirked and finally said, “Ok, God! I got it!” The preacher went on to say how in all phases of life we come up with excuses to not tithe. Ironically, I think he covered all the excuses that I tried to offer to God! At the end of the sermon, the preacher asked us to take a moment and prayerfully consider what God wanted us to do. I knew that my step of obedience in supporting Kevin and Leah would not take place until I actually spoke with them about it.

I left Ohio and came back to life in VA, continually praying about the details of God’s command. Friday was payday for me, and as I am eating dinner I get a call telling me that Kevin and Leah need slightly over $400! Knowing that I now had a figure in my heart, I called Kevin on my way home.

As I reached for my phone, my heart was racing and I couldn’t breathe. I said another last minute prayer, telling God that I was truly stepping out in faith and obedience to Him. I felt so inarticulate as I was speaking with Kevin; I felt a flood of emotions—excitement, nervousness, apprehension, anticipation. Then, I finally shared a monetary figure with Kevin, and the minute the words came out of my mouth, tears flowed down my face—not because I was sad but because I knew I was being obedient to what God wanted of me, and through my obedience I was allowing Kevin and Leah to be obedient to their call. It was then that many months worth of Kevin’s words came to life in me—this really is a partnership. Without the obedience of many, they cannot be obedient to the call in Birmingham.

When I got home after talking to Kevin, I sat down at the computer to check my email. My heart was still pounding, but this time because my flesh was wondering if I made the “right move.” My selfishness kept saying that I could have found other ways to spend that money each month, or I kept telling myself that with that bit of money a month, I could sit a bit more comfortably. God quickened my heart as I looked at my computer screen. (The screen that I was looking at was on a computer that my brother unselfishly gave to me.) As I opened my email I found my daily devotional that opened with the quotation, “Life isn’t about being comfortable; it’s about being obedient.”

Tears again flowed down my face. My heart began to absorb the lesson that God had for me. Following Him requires me to have reckless abandonment to Him—in ALL areas of my life. I want my relationship with Him to reflect reckless abandonment and not just a superficial effort toward following Jesus. I don’t want to be content in offering Jesus only that which costs me nothing. I want to be able to influence those around me into a life altering relationship with Jesus, and not only can I do that– but through my obedience to support Kevin and Leah, I am allowing them the opportunity to influence students in Birmingham into a life-altering relationship with Jesus! How exciting is all of that!! I know that as I step out in obedience, my life will be blessed in ways I can’t even imagine, and I have opened a door for the lives of others to be blessed in ways I may never know!

This is not an email telling everyone to choose to support Kevin and Leah like I have (but you should *smile*), but I just wanted to share with you how your heart is instantly changed the moment you take that first step of obedience—in whatever area of your life God is calling you to be more obedient. Prayerfully ponder what it is that God has been asking you to do. Prayerfully ponder what it is that has been making your heart race and breathing difficult—for there you will find the life-altering opportunity to step out in obedience!